Trust is a double edged sword

Gone

I’m aware I’m changing
And the group of friends I associate with is changing too
My wardrobe is getting darker
And my hair is getting lighter
My parents are louder
School feels harder
I want to go back
I really honestly do
But it’s too late now

“And you are the riot of color to my dreamy grey world and im sorry “

Suffocated

His words shook as he cried and he kept repeatedly saying “I love you, I love you so much. You’re so beautiful and perfect and please don’t hang up on me. Please I love you so much don’t hang up please I won’t be able to sleep without your voice please I love you”
But on the other end of the phone I couldn’t breathe.
My face was growing hotter
And my tongue tasted of bile.
This is what it felt to be suffocated.

We bring out the worst and the best in eachother

Something’s gone horribly wrong with me ever since I’ve met him.

Goodnight

The past four days you’ve said you’d call me and we’d talk until one of us sleeps… but you never call and I’m tired of waiting for you so I’m going to sleep.

Some nights I can’t breathe, and the blade gets heavy in my hand and the tears start to burn on my cheeks.

She sat down, back pressed against the cold brick wall, and She pulled her knees into her chest trying to keep herself warm in the icy cold that threatened what little heat was in our bodies. She struggled with shaky hands to light a cigarette she placed in her mouth and she looked up at me and stared for a good minute or two.
“You always look so together, like nothing in this world could ever phase you. Maybe that’s why everyone always asks you or advice, they want to feel together too”
I laughed and shook my head “no” as she offered me a cigarette.
“I only give out advice I need to hear”

You love him more than you.

Im in love with him.
And the word is the absolute most scariest thing like I didn’t even know this was a possible emotion from such a corrupted person. I want to taste him, touch him, feel him, hold him, whisper in his ear that all those lies he ever heard in the past were just that, lies. I would never hurt him, I’m here, and I love him, and I would stay up all night long listening to his tired laugh or his life long stories. He makes me hurt in the best of ways. I want him to suffocate me. I live to see that toothy smile on his face. And when he smiles it’s the most breathtakingly beautiful thing in the world and If I was to die in that moment, I would die happy. He holds me when I’m crying and pulls me from the threatening thickness of sadness that surrounds me as I overthink. I don’t understand when he says he loves me more, because such a thing cannot be true. How can someone love you more, when you love them more than you.