Today I fear the depression will come again
I have to stop looking at the people that’ll never want to be with me
Some friends aren’t really friends at all
“You’re so beautiful.”
“Like how do you even handle it.”
“You are just so beautiful but you have to wake up and put on underwear just like me and I don’t even understand how that can be handled by a beautiful person”
“Seriously. You know you’re pretty much the only person ever who looked like you, and looking like you is incredible, right?”
“Your face makes me wish I was 16 again so hard my heart hurts, and your personality breaks it in half.”
The last words Kyle ever said to me was his drunk confession. He was a working adult, and I was a high school student. We were from different worlds. It was this night we both realized we could not be friends. We were both incapable of it.
We never spoke again.
I have been so focused on walking forward and being independent that when I finally stopped to turn around, there is no one left to turn to.
A student died at my school a few days ago. We weren’t best friends or anything, but we weren’t complete strangers. He was one of the best football players and he used to always hit on the cheerleaders and we’d giggle him off. He died on the field from a heart attack. Over exertion. I’m not sure what to feel here. Someone who was in my every day routine will not be there this year, or any year. Miles will never walk to reach his diploma, never walk the field again, never flirt with us again. Miles is dead.
I believe the world is in a brighter color than I am able to see right now.