7 years

I didn’t see my best friend for seven years. she moved several countries away. We’ve kept in touch through video chatting and all other forms of social media of course, but I still wanted to see her face. To hold her when she was crying. To discreetly measure height differences and to go out and eat together.
So when she popped up at my front door step and said “happy early Christmas” I cried so hard. This was the best thing anyone could ever do for me.
So we spent the night catching up on everything that was too long or too important to say on the phone. We ordered food and she popped open a bottle of vodka. I turned on my little disco lamp that I never used and that’s how we stayed.
Come lying on top of her stomach, us both completely wasted , staring at the ceiling where the lights turned and changed, until we fell asleep.

I forgot what it felt Like to have a true friend.

I wasn’t given a warning
I had no time to prepare for him
No time to tell every bone in my body to be strong
Because the truth is he came from nowhere
And cut straight through all the walls I have ever built up around myself
He made me cry and melt all together
And the worse of all
He said he loved me

I was so tired, my bones pulled me to my bed and off my mind went to sleep. When I got up I noticed the house was quiet and certain objects were missing. My father had disappeared without a single word.

Is it strange to say I felt relieved?

Who is she

“Oooooh my turn!”, Vanessa shouted, “Jhonathan, you were born 1997 may 14th in Brooklyn. Your favorite color is green and you’ve had a crush on Emma Bosworth since elementary”
The room burst into laughter. I gripped my tea tightly in my hands, the cup burning my fingertips. It was my turn to be figured at.
Adam cleared his throat and everyone silenced and turned to face me.
“Luna Willowbrook. Born in 1998.. One of the biggest teases at —– high” everyone chuckled and nodded, “and.. Hmm.. Anyone else wanna take a shot?”
Everyone shifted around the room uncomfortably. Realization swept through all their faces one by one, that the girl who they spent almost every second with for the past year remained a mystery.
I laughed,”I won losers”, everyone joined in my laughter.

My past was not one I wished to revisit.